Dear Parent of Generation Z,

By Tyler Hodges, LMFT, Teen Therapist

When you decide to raise a child, you assume that you’ll organically connect with your children and be able to protect and care for them. No one expected that they would be raising a teen in a world that they couldn’t have imagined while continually struggling to understand and navigate it- even as an adult.

Teens now face a school system where they learn how to survive a school shooting before fully learning the alphabet. Technology has rapidly developed, and social media has a massive influence on how kids understand the culture around them. A pandemic completely shifted an entire world, changing the way of life for generations. The level of fear and unknown that not only you as parents have faced, so have your kids experienced. It’s a harrowing situation that none were prepared for. 

The world is different now and unfortunately the consequences are developing into some of the highest rates of depression and anxiety among adolescents than ever before. This appears to be a lasting side effect as kids have to figure out how to adjust to a new normal. They are having to manage the trauma of being forced into a situation where they have limited choices, social connectedness and an ability to develop their own independence. All of which are key components to raising a healthy teen.

You as parents and your teens may need extra help to manage these rapid changes we’re experiencing. You weren’t equipped to know how to manage this world. Most parents will proclaim that they don’t even know what they’re doing! I often say the only information about parenting you receive is the one from your own parents and that’s not always a great guide. I can’t solve much in an article or blog on how to manage and parent; however, there are things you can do.

Listen to your kids when they are struggling and try not to immediately solve the issue. Allow for them to express themselves. When dealing with trauma, being able to process through big emotions is an important step. It may be difficult, and you may not understand their experience, but it’s important that they know you are trying to listen and understand them. Also, try to help re-establish social connectedness outside of social media (e.g., after school programs, volunteering, etc.)

Lastly, if your teen is showing symptoms of depression and anxiety (isolation, lack of motivation, fatigue, loss of joy, irritability, etc.) please seek out help. If left alone it can often escalate to more severe symptoms of suicidal ideation, self-harm and other behavioral problems.

Tyler Hodges, LMFT